Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
