The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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