At least make sure they are 18
Why
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
