so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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