The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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