He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
