like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I smell stomach acid.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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