That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I died a long time ago.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
