Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
