Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
