she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
