We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"