I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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