come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
