the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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