So drunk, too bad you don't want this
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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