yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
