the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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