So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
