She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
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I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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