I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize