I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
