She announced her abortion via fbk
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
