Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she peed on how many people?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
