I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When are your genitals available?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
