Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
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Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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