I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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