What a fucking waste of an outfit
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
