after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
