Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
