She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I understand Curling. That high.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
