Tell her she can't have a vagina
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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