Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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