I wanna passion pit in your ass
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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