Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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