i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
