i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
