do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
