She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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