That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
