oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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