I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
