oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
