i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
