ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think I died a long time ago.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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