i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
did you just send me my own nude
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
