I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
where are my eyebrows?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
