There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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