Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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