peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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