I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
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She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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