I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Randomize
