woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
