I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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