I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
