we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
