i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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