If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
