i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
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Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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