i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
