Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
