I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
