FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Who died my cat blue again?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
