i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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